Have You Played

have-you-played…-dishonored-2? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Dishonored 2?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. Occasionally I have these moments where I can’t stop thinking about Dishonored 2. They come in fits and spurts, when I’m playing a game or I’m ordering a takeaway or I’m reading a book. I think to myself, “this just isn’t A Crack In The Slab though, is it?” (more…)

have-you-played…-the-blackwell-epiphany? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… The Blackwell Epiphany?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. The Blackwell series began in 2006, a collection of 5 proper good point and click games featuring a girl and a ghost solving paranomal-ish mysteries. The Blackwell Epiphany is the finale of them, and is actually the first Blackwell game I ever played. (more…)

have-you-played…-hypnospace-outlaw? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Hypnospace Outlaw?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time… Ah, the internet. It might be a cesspool of fibre optic-fuelled hate and anxiety these days, but back in ye olde dial-up times of 1999 it felt like a new frontier of hot information. It was a place where people were just trying to share their art, thoughts, music and other assorted paraphernalia with like-minded folk half way across the globe, and where today’s trolls were but mere gnomes in a forest of cobbled together home pages and horrifically bad graphic…

have-you-played…-plague-inc:-evolved? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Plague Inc: Evolved?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. Plague Inc: Evolved is a game about killing off the human race with a disease. Billions of human beings are boiled down to numbers of healthy, infected, and dead, allowing players to neatly sidestep the potential well of moral turmoil that such subject matter invites (especially in these times), and instead focus on evolving their plague. It’s a fairly challenging little strategy game that can be played out in the span of perhaps 10 minutes. And, strangely, it’s just about the…

have-you-played…-rage-2? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Rage 2?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. I have often related how, whilst covering E3 2018 from the UK, I was watching Bethesda’s live show at some ungodly hour in the morning, having not slept for some days because of watching other live shows at ungodly hours in the morning, and suddenly Andrew W.K. happened. He and his band absolutely crushing Ready To Die (Mr. W.K. proving he is indeed a very accomplished piano player in the process) whilst the camera kept cutting to Bethesda’s visibly bemused live…

have-you-played…-knee-deep? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Knee Deep?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. All the world’s a stage, as some idiot once said. This is literally true in Knee Deep, an adventure-slash-mystery game set in weirdo small town Cypress Knee, but that plays out on a large theatre stage. The locations are all bits of set. They rotate in and out. The walls drop away. It’s fun. (more…)

have-you-played…-metal-gear-solid-v:-ground-zeroes? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. I was so disappointed the first time I saw the credits roll in Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes. I’d heard it was short before I booted it up, but I don’t think I knew how short. Where were my oddly-timed codec conversations about how Jack met Rose? Why didn’t I have to climb a giant ladder while an acapella version of the theme faintly played in the background? Why didn’t a man that was clearly in disguise reveal his true…

have-you-played…-hitman-2? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Hitman 2?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. Obviously, it’s wonderful when you plan out airtight approaches and execute them without breaking a sweat, but that isn’t true joy. Hitman happiness is found in plan B, when you have to react to the mistakes you’ve made and the situations you’ve put Agent 47 in. Sure, being spotted by someone and discovering that your only defence is a squeaky toy you’ve stuffed into your seemingly very large pockets isn’t ideal, but the story of how you pulled back that nailed-on…

have-you-played…-prototype-2? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Prototype 2?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. The only reason I know the name of Prototype 2’s protagonist (Sgt. James… hang on, let me be sure… yeah, Sgt. James Heller) is because I just Googled it. I think the story involved the playable goodie from the first game turning bad and infecting people with some type of supervillian zombie disease. Also your wife… and daughter (?) are dead. (more…)

have-you-played…-world’s-hardest-game? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… World’s Hardest Game?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. I love watching the ecstasy of an athlete who’s just realised they’ve won gold at the Olympics. It’s a very special moment. I bet all gold medallists have an annual swanky dinner or something, where they swill Lucozade and delicately spoon energy gel into their mouths. Maybe it’s time I went along. I mean, I beat the World’s Hardest Game over ten years ago. Let me tell you my story, my legend. (more…)

have-you-played…-guard-duty? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Guard Duty?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. Whomst among us hasn’t got absolutely bladdered and woken up the next day having lost all of their uniform and with no idea what happened the night before? Well me; I haven’t done that. But I am not Tondbert, the plucky protagonist of retro-style point and click adventureGuard Duty. Tondbert’s drunken lapse in judgement has resulted in his kingdom’s princess being kidnapped, which is not ideal. (more…)

have-you-played…-bugsnax? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Bugsnax?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. With an announcement as instantly eyecatching as Bugsnax‘s was, featuring Kero Kero Bonito’s absolute banger “It’s Bugsnax!”, the actual game was always going to have a lot to live up to. Thankfully, as you explore the strange Snaktooth Island and begin meeting the Grumpuses who inhabit the place, it becomes abundantly clear the vibes are going to be solid. It’s a lovely little game that has you figuring out how to bring the town back into harmony, and discovering the mystery…

have-you-played…-kalimba? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Kalimba?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time… Kalimba is probably the greatest puzzle platformer you’ve never played. Just saying its name brings a smile to my face. It’s a delightful word that just rolls off the tongue, much like the pair of grinning totem heads you’ll send cascading through its subterranean levels in search of ever-larger totem faces to help bring the light back to your cursed island. It’s a real gem, old Kalimba, and it remains one of my favourite games of all time. (more…)

have-you-played…-far-cry-primal? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Far Cry Primal?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. I’m a sucker for Far Cry’s charismatic bad guys. Since Far Cry 3, Ubisoft has obviously been aiming to write villians that thrill and terrify in equal measure, but with the stone-age Far Cry Primal they weren’t as concerned about handsome, hypnotic lunatics, or superforeigners that were here to save the day via a never-ending stream of bullets. To my eyes, at least, they wanted to stick Far Cry’s survival of the fittest hunting and gathering in a game where it…

have-you-played…-wattam? Rock,Paper,Shotgun

Have You Played… Wattam?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time… It’s difficult to describe Wattam without sounding like you’ve gone completely insane during lockdown. At first you play a lonely green cube called Mayor whose only wish is that he had a friend to share his existential misery with, but within a couple of hours you’re parping golden turds, sticking sentient eyes, a nose and a mouth on a terrifying doll’s featureless face, and flying across the vast cloud sea separating the game’s four islands on the back of a giant…